I should have.....

Conflicts arise because of miscommunication and the lack of emotional intelligence. Some people manage their emotions well to prevent a conflict or resolve one quickly. These people are not angered easily in tense situations.  There are others who get impatient and quickly lose their cool, making a situation tenser, resulting in a conflict.

I would like to recall an account in which I felt conflicted. This happened last semester. I started the semester two weeks late because of a summer programe I had attended in Canada. Thus, when I was back in NUS, I found it hard to cope with a particular module that I had bidded for.  Having missed 4 lectures already, I decided to drop the module in the end.

I then found another module which was somewhat suitable (and having only missed 2 lectures, it’d be easier to catch up). However, there was a timetable clash. Thus, I seeked the permission of one of my tutors for an arrangement with regards to the timetable clash (with the module I was to sign up for) and she agreed. So, I sent an appeal to CORS. Hours later, I received a reply from CORS to say that my appeal has been rejected because “she did not agree to this request”.

Naturally, I wasn’t too pleased about it, angry even. I had specifically seeked her permission with regards to move the tutorial slot to another day and yet the reply I received from CORS was that “she did not agree to it". The main problem was like I've mentioned in the beginning of this post, I get impatient and quickly lose my cool. 

A few weeks later, my tutor asked me what was the final outcome. I mentioned that I had dropped the module. She also mentioned that a lady (probably at the deparment) rejected the appeal.  Then, I felt guilty for blaming my tutor when she was not the one whom CORS spoke to.

From then, I realised that it is important to find out what is going on before starting to blame people. My displeasure could have been avoided if I had communicated with my tutor on why my appeal was rejected when she had agreed to my request. My friends had also adviced me to speak to my tutor on this matter. But, I rebutted saying that I specifically mentioned “my xxxx tutor” in my CORS appeal and it was definitely my tutor whom CORS spoke to.

Thus, the question I would like to pose is do you think emotions somewhat affect our judgement, only to think back and say “I should/shouldn't have……"